motherhood

I sent out an email to some of my besties about my struggles with juggling 4 kids, my feelings of being overwhelmed, blah, blah, blah.

The res pones I got were amazing. Here are a few of my fav's.

"I have said this before and I will say it again...you are WAY TOO HARD on yourself. WAY TOO HARD! You think anything less than perfection is failure and that is just not the case.

Everyday is a struggle to get everything done, and most of the time it does not get all done but the important things get done and the rest can wait. Your kids are loved and they are taken care of, what more do they need?"---AE

"You are the boss of your home. Ben is the boss at work. Does he work at the plant all by himself? Make all the bottles, take care of all the shipping, answer all the calls,fix the machines, meet with customers, clean the bathrooms and break room, sweep and vacuum the offices, ABSOLUTELY NOT! He has a team and he hires people to come in and do the work that he doesn't want to do or can't do because he is busy doing everything else. Be the boss. He focuses on the things have to be done to be successful and leaves the rest of the work for someone else. Follow his business plan, he can't argue with that." --MA

"Wow Tessie! I think you just read my mind! I don't even know how to help you because I am feeling this same way everyday. Honestly I think most moms feel like this at some point but most won't admit it, they just fake it for everyone else!"--JH

"I would never judge you for being more honest then most Mom's are. Motherhood is a thankless job, and completely overwhelming! I live on Caffeine and pay someone to clean my house, and all my kids sleep- ALL NIGHT!! But they didn't used to, and I couldn't get anywhere before 10 am- MUCH LESS get older kids off to school and fight with them over homework!! I know that you aren't so much a control freak, as you are organized, and I bet that point in the day when your plan goes to crap is driving you crazy. I actually try to pinpoint the event that topples my daily plans, it changes every day... :) You are exhausted and need a break! A well timed Girls Weekend where you simply catch up on sleep may be the start.... But if you want to know what I do to STAY SANE? Here are my tricks:


1. Ever wonder how I could work out so much? 2 Reasons: 1. Childcare for up to 2 hours a day (the exercise was actually a BREAK....) and 2. The endorphins from working out made me a LOT happier leaving the gym then I entered it....
2. DATE NIGHT. We get a babysitter almost every single weekend, at least one night. We actually just had a babysitter ask if we could have a set night. So now she is planning on babysitting for us EVERY Saturday night. Extravagant? A little..... the best thing ever? only topped by:
3. House cleaners. They come 2x/month and do stuff like change and wash the sheets on every bed, clean the showers, and wipe fingerprints off glass.. Do I have to clean to get ready for them? Yes. But twice a month my house is cleaner then you EVER saw it when you lived here.. :)
4. N's Tutor. I have a lady in the ward that does homework with N 2x/ week for a half hour each time. It started as her helping him with his writing and has morphed into her just doing homework with him while I would drive E to gym. It allows N to get homework done during a time I can't help him, and it means I am only fighting the homework battle with him 2x/ week also. He loves her and is much better for her then he is for me = Win Win
5. Girls nights or weekends here and there...
6. I NAP every Sunday. It is the ONLY DAY I nap but the WHOLE family knows to leave me alone.

You are NOT abnormal in any sort of way, so please stop beating yourself up!

Hang in There!! It gets way easier with a full night's sleep. Promise."--JB

I have the best friends ever. They get me.

I also realized that OF COURSE I can't be the same mom I was when I had 2 kids, HELLO!!!!, there are two more people in my life. I have to change my expectations and do the best I can with four kids. Not compare myself to what I did when I only had two. Having two kids may be busy, but it is really quite doable, four kids on the other hand is more than twice the work. But its also twice the reward.

I need to sit down and redefine success. That's all. I just need to see things differently and stop comparing myself to who I was and love who I am.

Thanks ladies, you made my day.