Today is a gift...

O-R-E-O-S

2012-01-31T11:55:00.002-05:00

new yummy drink-mocktails

2012-01-27T16:37:00.001-05:00

I had no idea what a mojito was, but I knew they were popular so when I saw Sams Club had all three flavors, I had to try them. YUUMO!!! I will be going back later today to get 3 more. They are only available until the middle of March so I WILL be stocking up. You should to.

his tender side

2012-01-25T14:00:00.002-05:00

Not EVERYTHING Hunter does is life threatening. He does have a really soft, tender side. Last night he was sleeping with me because it was raining and he doesn't like rain and Ben is in Pennsylvania so why not. We were laying in the dark and I told him I loved him to which he responded...

H- who else mommy love?
M- I love Daddy, Austin, Savannah, Ellorie and you.
H- me love daddy, Austin, Sanna (that is how he says her name), Ellyee (spelled as he says it) and mommy. Me love Tylo (Tyler). He is a boy down the street that is really nice to him. Me love Brookie and AJ (next door neighbors) and me love daddy. Me daddy's boy.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Best. Thing. Ever.

2012-01-24T16:58:00.002-05:00

I finally broke down and paid someone to come in and clean my floors and bathrooms. I'm just in heaven. Those are the two hardest things for me to stay on top of and to think that they will be clean and not by me is kindof heavenly.

Plus Ellorie is minutes away from crawling and my floors always seem so dirty, (can't imagine why.)

But today they are clean, and I'm over the moon. Thanks honey~you're the best.

So Naughty 2.0

2012-01-19T14:47:00.004-05:00

Look closely at the very poor quality picture. Hunter is holding a new toy Monster truck. Under the coffee table is the plastic it was wrapped in and a steak knife.

This naughty boy climbed up on the counter, took one of the Monster trucks we bought for our friends birthday, then moved the step, climbed up in another counter, got a knife, had the clearness of thought to HIDE under the table and open it after I had told him not to.

It wasn't until after I took the second picture that I noticed blood on the packaging and noticed that in fact, Hunter had cut his finger with the knife while trying to open it.

"WHERE IS HIS MOTHER WHILE HE IS DOING ALL THIS?" you may be asking. I was upstairs and while I wish I could say I was vacuuming or doing something else useful I was blogging.

Lesson learned: I can only blog when he is down for a nap and if he's up and its quiet, you can bet he's doing something naughty.

one step closer to me

2012-01-18T18:09:00.002-05:00

It seems like everyday I find myself getting a little closer to being me again. Here are some examples I have noticed lately

-I have actually done my hair during the week. Normally, I let it air dry then put it in a ponytail. But at least once a week I find myself getting the blow dryer out and doing it.

-I am starting to look at shoes again. It has been to long since I have put effort into my appearance and its nice to find myself thinking about style and caring about what I wear.

-I find myself thinking about and doing more exercise. If I can't make it to the gym, I find ways to get moving at home.

-I find myself thinking outside of the box and trying to make what I have work until I get back to a more normal size instead of feeling bad about myself and running out to buy something to make myself feel better.

-I am cooking more. Always an improvement to assuming pizza will do, again.

-I've been planning a menu and looking at recipes that I might like to try.

-I have been wearing makeup more often then just Sundays.

Each alone may seem insignificant, but add it all up and I'm making real progress. One day at a time, one pound at a time, one meal at a time.

Nutcracker 2011

2012-01-18T12:35:00.003-05:00

We went to Dallas to see our friends the Engars and attend the Nutcracker. The girls looked lovely, but I'm not so sure about that fat lady holding Ellorie. Wow, that's inspiration enough.

TMJ=TMI

2012-01-18T11:34:00.002-05:00

TMJ is what they call the problem of people who grind and clench their teeth. Thus I have it.

TMI means to much info to those of you who don't know how to speak text.

I went to my dentist today who told me that no insurance covers TMJ visits. The dental ins will fight that the medical ins should cover it, and the medical ins will fight that the dental should and neither will so the patient is stuck covering thousands of dollars out of pocket.

I'm so glad to have found a good dentist who warned me about this before I made the appt with the TMJ specialist my med Dr referred me to. He found a company who makes special bite guards for people with high gag reflex that just fit over the front two teeth and they also make a separate daytime bite guard for those extra special people who do it day and night AKA, me.

AND, they both cost less than the previous nighttime only night guard I had made about 4 years ago that I never could wear cause it made me gag. So today, totally productive and its only 10:30am.

9 months of pure bliss

2012-01-17T18:24:00.002-05:00

Yep, she's 9 months old. How did this happen? I was just getting adjusted to having 3 kids and a baby and now I have to adjust to 4 kids on the go? She is trying desperatelyto crawl. She is still the happiest baby on the earth, she's a good eater now that we have figured out her schedule and she is sleeps from 10-6 every night. Who could ask for more??!! Ellorie we love you.

so naughty

2012-01-17T18:22:00.001-05:00

Hunter is always into something...at this moment he's in the sink. Literally.

Meet Spike...Austin's bearded dragon

2012-01-17T18:21:00.001-05:00

His full name is Spike the Ball Conkey. He's beloved by all.

motherhood

2012-01-13T09:19:00.002-05:00

I sent out an email to some of my besties about my struggles with juggling 4 kids, my feelings of being overwhelmed, blah, blah, blah.

The res pones I got were amazing. Here are a few of my fav's.

"I have said this before and I will say it again...you are WAY TOO HARD on yourself. WAY TOO HARD! You think anything less than perfection is failure and that is just not the case.

Everyday is a struggle to get everything done, and most of the time it does not get all done but the important things get done and the rest can wait. Your kids are loved and they are taken care of, what more do they need?"---AE

"You are the boss of your home. Ben is the boss at work. Does he work at the plant all by himself? Make all the bottles, take care of all the shipping, answer all the calls,fix the machines, meet with customers, clean the bathrooms and break room, sweep and vacuum the offices, ABSOLUTELY NOT! He has a team and he hires people to come in and do the work that he doesn't want to do or can't do because he is busy doing everything else. Be the boss. He focuses on the things have to be done to be successful and leaves the rest of the work for someone else. Follow his business plan, he can't argue with that." --MA

"Wow Tessie! I think you just read my mind! I don't even know how to help you because I am feeling this same way everyday. Honestly I think most moms feel like this at some point but most won't admit it, they just fake it for everyone else!"--JH

"I would never judge you for being more honest then most Mom's are. Motherhood is a thankless job, and completely overwhelming! I live on Caffeine and pay someone to clean my house, and all my kids sleep- ALL NIGHT!! But they didn't used to, and I couldn't get anywhere before 10 am- MUCH LESS get older kids off to school and fight with them over homework!! I know that you aren't so much a control freak, as you are organized, and I bet that point in the day when your plan goes to crap is driving you crazy. I actually try to pinpoint the event that topples my daily plans, it changes every day... :) You are exhausted and need a break! A well timed Girls Weekend where you simply catch up on sleep may be the start.... But if you want to know what I do to STAY SANE? Here are my tricks:

1. Ever wonder how I could work out so much? 2 Reasons: 1. Childcare for up to 2 hours a day (the exercise was actually a BREAK....) and 2. The endorphins from working out made me a LOT happier leaving the gym then I entered it....
2. DATE NIGHT. We get a babysitter almost every single weekend, at least one night. We actually just had a babysitter ask if we could have a set night. So now she is planning on babysitting for us EVERY Saturday night. Extravagant? A little..... the best thing ever? only topped by:
3. House cleaners. They come 2x/month and do stuff like change and wash the sheets on every bed, clean the showers, and wipe fingerprints off glass.. Do I have to clean to get ready for them? Yes. But twice a month my house is cleaner then you EVER saw it when you lived here.. :)
4. N's Tutor. I have a lady in the ward that does homework with N 2x/ week for a half hour each time. It started as her helping him with his writing and has morphed into her just doing homework with him while I would drive E to gym. It allows N to get homework done during a time I can't help him, and it means I am only fighting the homework battle with him 2x/ week also. He loves her and is much better for her then he is for me = Win Win
5. Girls nights or weekends here and there...
6. I NAP every Sunday. It is the ONLY DAY I nap but the WHOLE family knows to leave me alone.

You are NOT abnormal in any sort of way, so please stop beating yourself up!

Hang in There!! It gets way easier with a full night's sleep. Promise."--JB

I have the best friends ever. They get me.

I also realized that OF COURSE I can't be the same mom I was when I had 2 kids, HELLO!!!!, there are two more people in my life. I have to change my expectations and do the best I can with four kids. Not compare myself to what I did when I only had two. Having two kids may be busy, but it is really quite doable, four kids on the other hand is more than twice the work. But its also twice the reward.

I need to sit down and redefine success. That's all. I just need to see things differently and stop comparing myself to who I was and love who I am.

Thanks ladies, you made my day.

totally uncomfortable

2012-01-12T17:13:00.001-05:00

Now that Ellorie can sit herself up, she has a tendancy to fall asleep that way and just bends over. Totally uncomfortable. When I lay her back she cries cause I'm sure her back is stiff. Silly baby.

modern day straight jacket

2012-01-12T17:09:00.003-05:00

Its stylish, versatile and warm. After this, I tied up his legs and he walked around the house pretending he was a penguin. Good times.

cleaning lady

2012-01-12T11:28:00.001-05:00

I have got to find a cleaning lady, I can't keep up. I might have to donate plasma to pay for her, but any sacrifice will be worth it.

odds and ends

2012-01-10T09:55:00.002-05:00

More pics I wanted to remember from our Christmas trip.

The boys cooking up a storm, my first fried turkey, the face I make when I've eaten way to much and need a nap, and Austin and Grandpa working on an I spy puzzle.

The Conkey Farm in Jackson NE

2012-01-10T09:52:00.001-05:00

Ben and his sister Jodi and her hubby Chad took the kids out to the old farm. The kids had a blast, got some fresh air and worked out some of the cabin fever that was settling in.

Herman Christmas

2012-01-10T09:47:00.003-05:00

Christmas morning came and went too quickly this year. We stayed at Micah's house and everyone came over to open gifts. First we watched The Nativity Story, which I totally recommend. It was a great way to visualize the Christmas story and bring the spirit to our celebration. Mom made a YUMMO egg bake and cinnamon rolls and the opening of gifts commenced. Our kids got tons of good stuff and were spoiled rotten.

Conkey Christmas

2012-01-10T09:40:00.002-05:00

When the Conkey's get together, no house can contain us all, so we have begun a great tradition of getting a suite at a hotel and partying it up there. They have an indoor/outdoor pool so the kids can swim and lots of room for us to spread out and have fun.

With Great Grandpa

2012-01-10T09:36:00.000-05:00

We're so lucky to still have my grandpa around. He is so sweet and the kids love him, especially because he can't hear anything they say so he always answers Yes.

Our Christmas

2012-01-10T08:52:00.001-05:00

We had our Christmas on the 22nd. We didn't want to have to haul all our stuff to Iowa, just to have to bring it all back home.

The kids were excited and pleased with what they got, but as usual, it wasn't enough. It never is!!!!

The Death of Pretty

2012-01-10T08:45:00.000-05:00

Pretty, pretty is dying.

People will define pretty differently. For the purposes of this piece, I define pretty as a mutually enriching balanced combination of beauty and projected innocence.

Once upon a time, women wanted to project an innocence. I am not idealizing another age and I have no illusions about the virtues of our grandparents, concupiscence being what it is. But some things were different in the back then. First and foremost, many beautiful women, whatever the state of their souls, still wished to project a public innocence and virtue. And that combination of beauty and innocence is what I define as pretty.

By nature, generally when men see this combination in women it brings out their better qualities, their best in fact. That special combination of beauty and innocence, the pretty inspires men to protect and defend it.

Young women today do not seem to aspire to pretty, they prefer to be regarded as hot. Hotness is something altogether different. When women want to be hot instead of pretty, they must view themselves in a certain way and consequently men view them differently as well.

As I said, pretty inspires men’s nobler instincts to protect and defend. Pretty is cherished. Hotness, on the other hand, is a commodity. Its value is temporary and must be used. It is a consumable.

Nowhere is this pretty deficit more obvious than in our “stars,” the people we elevate as the “ideal.” The stars of the fifties surely suffered from the same sin as do stars of today. Stars of the fifties weren’t ideal but they pursued a public ideal different from today.

The merits of hotness over pretty is easy enough to understand, they made an entire musical about it. Who can forget how pretty Olivia Newton John was at the beginning of Grease. Beautiful and innocent. But her desire to be desired leads her to throw away all that is valuable in herself in the vain hopes of getting the attention of a boy. In the process, she destroys her innocence and thus destroys the pretty. What we are left with is hotness.

Hotness is a consumable. A consumable that consumes as it is consumed but brings no warmth.

Most girls don’t want to be pretty anymore even if they understand what it is. It is ironic that 40 years of women’s liberation has succeeded only in turning women into a commodity. Something to be used up and thrown out.

Of course men play a role in this as well, but women should know better and they once did. Once upon a time you would hear girls talk about kind of women men date and the kind they marry. You don’t hear things like that anymore.

But here is the real truth. Most men prefer pretty over hot. Even back in 6th grade I hated the “hot” Olivia Newton John and felt sorry for her that she had to debase herself in such a way. Still do.

Our problem is that society doesn’t value innocence anymore, real or imagined. Nobody aspires to innocence anymore. Nobody wants to be thought of as innocent, the good girl. They want to be hot, not pretty.

I still hope that pretty comes back, although I think it not likely any time soon. For every Taylor Swift, there are a hundred Megan Foxs, or Lindsay Lohans, or Miley Cyruses etc.

Girls, please, bring back the pretty.

By Pat Archbold

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-death-of-pretty#ixzz1j3xYFoFg

coping mechanisms

2012-01-09T18:05:00.004-05:00

I thought I had constructive ways to deal with stress. I go to to the gym, I drink water, I blog.
But apparently that isn't enough. I also eat (compulsively), grind my teeth, clench my jaw and can't remember the last time I had a good cry.

I am trying to figure out why I have been internalizing all the stress in my life and now I'm realizing that I haven't been doing a good job of coping with it.

These are the questions that got me thinking-

1. Have you moved in the last 12 months? Yes
2. Have you experienced a life changing event? example given, had a baby. Yes
3. Have you had a long period of separation from your significant other in the last year? Yes
4. Have you received bad news regarding your health? Yes, high cholesterol. Overweight.
5. Has your sleep patterns been interrupted? Yes, said baby.
6. Are you getting 6-8 consecutive hours of sleep regularly? No, said baby.
7. Do you feel you have a support network in place? No.
8. Have you had a close friend/family member receive bad health news? Yes
9. Have you had to sell a home in the last 12 months? Yes
10. Have you or a loved one had a job change in the last 12 months? Yes.
11. Has that loved one had to work increased hours? Yes.
12. Do you perceive you have had to pick up the extra responsibility due to that work increase? Yes.
13. Do you have children who have had to experience any of the above? Yes, times 3
14. Have you had to come to terms with a loved ones life choices? example given, addiction, alcoholism, hoarding, drugs, divorce? Yes.

The list had about 20 other questions, but I they didn't seem as obvious as these.

So yes, I have had a little stress in my life and now I need to learn some new, more effective coping mechanisms to deal with that.

I think a week on a beach in Hawaii is just what the Dr ordered.

putting two and two together...

2012-01-09T16:07:00.003-05:00

I finally put together two things that I thought were totally unrelated.

seemingly random headaches+the gym

I noticed today while I was on the elliptical that I am grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw while I exercise. So I poured over my calendar, called the gym to get the days I went, looked at when I got headaches and realized that the days I work out, I get headaches.

Not just your average run of the mill take 2 Ibuprofen and they're gone headaches, but throwing up, can't stand sound, light or noise headaches that have me in bed and puking.

I have to admit that my grinding and such is finally hit the point that I have to get help before it has me cutting off my head to get some relief.

I see my Dr on Wed and the dentist next Wed and since I do it all day long, I don't think a night guard is gonna help. I need to do some research and really figure out the best plan of action.

"I like big butts...

2012-01-06T19:19:00.002-05:00

and chubby baby thighs"
Savannah is downstairs singing this and is completely clueless as to the real words. AAHHH, innocence.

Hunterisms

2012-01-06T16:37:00.004-05:00

Some of the highlights of his vocabulary

bigga monsters big trucks

doc- means chocolate milk

pies- paci's

dankie- blanket

foney baloney- his new favorite phrase

Dinch- the Grinch, (the one with Jim Carrey)

showder- sounds like chowder, but means shower which he likes to take really hot and all by himself.

Oh, he makes me laugh. He is a really funny, fun to be around kid.

25 rules for mothers of sons

2012-01-06T11:16:00.001-05:00

click on the title of this post. It is a great article of rules for raising sons. Well written.

2012...5 days in

2012-01-05T14:02:00.003-05:00

and doing good.

I need to get all the recent pics off Ben's Iphone so I can post updates about all the fun stuff that happened recently.

Maybe that should be on my to do list.

Goals for 2012

2012-01-03T19:11:00.004-05:00

This is gonna be a busy year, but it will also be the year that will set me up for the rest of my life.

1. Lose ALL the baby weight, this year. By Dec 2012 I want to be under 160. I think that is realistic for me. It is definately not what the world tells me I should weigh, 130, please.

2. Have a feeling of general organization in my house.

3. Make some changes to the house to make it feel less neutral and more...mine.

4. Take one night a week out for me.

5. Date night once a month.

6. Quarterly temple trips.

7. Spring Break has been designated as "Paci free week" in this house. Both kids will have to learn to do without cause I"m cutting all the tips off.

8. Take more time to keep in touch with my friends from all over.

new posts coming

2011-12-29T22:47:00.004-05:00

I have a million things to blog about...before the end of 2011.

But first I have some sleep to catch up on.

King Size Bed

2011-12-20T16:33:00.000-05:00

Love is a temporary madness

2011-12-20T09:51:00.001-05:00

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

Louis De Bernieres

A Christmas Miracle

2011-12-20T08:46:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was playing around with the idea of making Ellorie's babyfood from scratch.

I read a website called momtastic.com and realized I could be giving her way more stuff and that she would most likely eat more if it tasted better. Ellorie has become rather stubborn about eating. She only eats when and what she wants and she will clamp her gums and lips shut and refuse to open them if its not yummy.

I tried some avocado yesterday and she loved it. And because she ate decently, she SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!! For the first time in her life. I didn't realize it til my alarm went off this morning and I almost jumped out of bed for joy!

So now I am committed to making her food because I know she'll eat more and when she gets in all the food she needs during the day, she will sleep at night.

Hallulijah!!!!

Ultimake Chocolate Chip n' Oreo Fudge Brownie Bar

2011-12-15T14:06:00.003-05:00

Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie n’ Oreo
Fudge Brownie Bar

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 Tablespoon pure vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups (12 ounces) milk chocolate chips
1 pkg Double Stuffed Oreos
1 Family Size (9×13) Brownie mix
1/4 cup hot fudge topping

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream the butter and both sugars in a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium speed for 3-5 minutes. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well to thoroughly combine. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda and salt, then slowly incorporate into the mixer until the flour is just combined. Stir in chocolate chips. Spread the cookie dough in the bottom of a 9×13 baking dish that’s been lined with wax paper and sprayed with cooking spray. Top with a layer of Oreos. Mix together brownie mix, adding an optional 1/4 cup of hot fudge topping to the mix. Pour the brownie batter over the cookie dough and Oreos. Bake at 350 degrees F for 45-55 minutes.

To half this recipe for an 8×8 brownie mix, just half the chocolate chip cookie dough ingredients. Enjoy!

*****I'm totally taking these to the RS Christmas dinner tonight and I'm making a batch for Xmas!******

recent pic of me

2011-12-15T13:28:00.004-05:00

Today I did a few things I haven't done in ages.

1. I curled my hair. With a real curling iron. (Those things have changed since I bought one last.) The pic only shows what it looks like hours after doing it, but still its not in a ponytail and that alone is miraculous.

2. I got 2 of my 3 visiting sisters visited. I haven't done that since Indiana.

3. I got on the scale and was pleasantly surprised with my progress.

4. I made it to Sam's Club before the big lunch rush.

5. I realized I wasn't ashamed of posting a pic of myself for all the world to see. Progress.

O Holy Night

2011-12-08T09:42:00.002-05:00

This is my favorite Christmas hymn and this is a beautiful video. Warning, may cause goosebumps and crying.

My new coat

2011-12-06T10:07:00.002-05:00

It is so cold here and I realized last night that my coat from 3 winters ago doesn't quite fit yet. I found this one on Kohls.com (LOVE) found a 20%off coupon on retailmenot.com (LOVE) and got a 160.00 red wool coat (with a little sass on the side) for 76.00 plus free shipping. (LOVE)

Parenting

2011-12-04T23:07:00.002-05:00

I find that I am most comfortable parenting a baby. I know what to do with them. I know how to comfort them, I know how to teach them things, I know what they need from me. And I'm good at it. I feel confident with my baby skills.

I am not so confident with my "big kid" skills. I don't know what to do with Austin. I don't know how to teach him the things that will matter most or comfort him aside from hugs and kisses and ice cream. I don't know what he needs from me aside from time which I never have enough of. I feel a distance with him, and if I'm being honest with Savannah too. I feel like I'm being quartered. There is only one of me and 4 kids and they are all pulling in different directions. Then there is Ben who has his own set of needs and wants. If I'm really plugged in and devoting time to the kids, then the housework gets neglected and Ben comes home and acts annoyed and thinks I haven't done anything all day. But if I am doing housework, then I can't devote that time and energy to the kids. I only see Austin and Savannah for 5 hours each day after school and that time is spent with homework, getting in their required reading time, unwinding after a long day of school, dinner, all while still juggling two babies, and then its bedtime. Now we have basketball eating away at our time.

I've never had an almost 10 year old. This is unchartered waters for me. I guess all I can do is keep the lines of communication open and keep talking. I'm not afraid to tell him that I don't really know what I'm doing. I guess we just have to figure it out together.

Big sister

2011-12-04T12:13:00.003-05:00

Hunter and Savannah "playing" naptime.

Most days after school, Savannah takes a little bit of time to relish some attention on Hunter and Ellorie and they just eat it up. Hunter loves that she is like a second mommy to him and is willing help him get/do the things I won't. Ellorie gets super giddy when Savannah gets close enough to grab ahold of her hair. Then she doesen't let go and keeps Savannah close. She's such a wonderful big sister.

Daily dose of cuteness

2011-12-04T12:07:00.003-05:00

I forget to get the camara out most days, but some days the stars align just right and I'm given the blessing of a happy baby, fully charged batteries and a small window of time to capture all her sweetness. Enjoy!

FYI- believe it or not, she is not a thumb sucker. She just really likes to chew on it.

She would have been 3

2011-12-02T22:48:00.002-05:00

From my first thought today, I knew something wasn't right. Nothing has gone my way, nothing. Its like the universe was trying to tell me to just stay in bed today. Everything I attempted to do today was an epic fail. The gym, didn't make it. Print our family pics, forgot the CD then forgot my wallet. Got the prints home, only had half of them. I just couldn't shake the feeling that today was significant, but I couldn't think of why.

Then on my way to Target at 9Pm, it hit me. Today was my due date for our sweet angel baby, my baby number 3 that didn't make it. The universe was reminding me to think of her, grieve for her, and reminding me to be my best so that one day I can return to Heaven and hold her in my arms.

Hunter's tooth

2011-12-02T14:35:00.002-05:00

As you can see, he wouldn't really let me get a good pic but this is what I got. Its still all the way up in his gums. When he smiles now, it looks like the tooth is missing, but its still there.

He has bumped it a few times in the past few weeks and its still sore. He bumped it once and the gums in the front split going up and down but that seems to be healing. He was reluctant to go back to the gym, but he's fine.

Tough guy.

An American Christmas

2011-12-01T10:41:00.001-05:00

Dan Lazar wrote this. He is my cousins husband, a small business owner and a proud American. Please read this, then share it.

"As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods -- merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor.

This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift-giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands. Yes there is!

It's time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box?

Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local American hair salon or barber?

Gym membership? It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.

Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American-owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down the Benjamin’s on a Chinese made flat-screen? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.

There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half-dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains -- this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?

Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day. How about a massage?

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner-operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theater.

Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Honestly, people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community. If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.

You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about US, encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn't imagine.

THIS is the new American Christmas tradition.

Forward this to everyone on your mailing list -- post it to discussion groups -- throw up a post on Craigslist in the Rants and Raves section in your city -- send it to the editor of your local paper and radio stations,
and TV news departments. This is a revolution of caring about each other. Isn't that what Christmas is about?"

my new FAV christmas book

2011-11-29T11:14:00.002-05:00

I picked this book up on a whim at Lowe's and I LOVE it. No, love isn't a strong enough word. I adore, cherish, (well, you get the idea.)

I highly recommend you pick one up too. Great recipes, ones you will actually eat and can feed your family. Great gift ideas, great decorating ideas. LOVE IT!

FYI***** its way cheaper on Amazon than it was at Lowes. You can also get it for your Kindle or ereader, just sayin.

high cholesterol

2011-11-28T10:43:00.003-05:00

I had a physical the beginning of November. I haven't had one in years, so I thought it was time to get a better idea of what was going on in my body and make an action plan to fix anything that might come up.

Speaking of up, lets talk about my cholesterol. My total cholesterol was 291, with the normal range being 100-200. My LDL was 211 with the normal being 0-130. It was shocking to see.

So I'm adjusting my diet, exercising more often than my usual 3x a week and hopefully in 6 monhs I will have lost at least 10-15% of my current weight and my numbers will be better. I'll keep you posted.

I'm drug free

2011-11-28T10:29:00.004-05:00

I started taking antidepressants about a year into our time in Vegas. It helped me get over the challenges of the move and all the changes that came with that. Then we got pregnant and subsequently lost our third baby and I have been on them ever since. They are a lifesaver. Literally. Without them, I would have given up and most likely been another statistic.

Since Labor Day, I have decided to slowly wean off them. Like any mind altering drug (which is what they are), the process of weaning off is hard and has lots of side effects. Here are some of mine- sudden blinding headaches, stomach aches, fevers, nausea, fatigue, constipation, dizziness, crabbiness, short term memory problems, the shakes, short tempered, and a general feeling of my brain being to small for my skull. I can't really explain that last one except that if I made sudden movements, it felt like my brain would rattle in my head a little. Weird I know. I went from 100mg of Zoloft, down to 50 for a month. Then I went to 25mg every other day for a month. Then down to 25mg every day for a month and then only every other day and now I have been drug free for a week.

I feel great. I love the holidays, I love the cooler weather, I love being home with my kids everyday. I love that there was something I could do to help me stay afloat when the rip currents of life tried to drag me down. I'm sure this isn't the last of the Nothing. I believe this is my cross to bear in this life, but I will face it with my head held high, my dignity intact and with no shame.

******UPDATE******* 11/29/11
Today's withdrawal has been awful. I have all the above symptoms, I haven't been able to keep anything down and I'm considering a cranial amputation to get rid of this headache.

Chaos ensues

2011-11-16T21:54:00.003-05:00

Today was chaos and it needs to be documented.

4pm- big kids get home from school, Austin starts homework, Savannah reads, Hunter screams cause he wants my attention, Ellorie naps. Wrestle Hunter all while helping Austin with math, Savannah needs help sounding out words, Hunter needs a dry diaper, Ellorie wakes up and wants (deserves) some attention, Make kids after school snack,switch loads of laundry, load dishwasher,

5pm-Austin still working on math, Savannah gets to play with friends, Hunter is screaming for Austin's IPOD or Mickey Mouse or a hot dog, or chocolate milk, Ellorie wants to eat. Give Ellorie a bottle, start the grill, decide what I'm having along with our steak. Still doing laundry,Hunter needs more Advil cause his "mouf urts". Savannah's friends leave and another comes over. Put Ellorie in the jumper, continue helping Austin with math, remind the kids to play nicely, put the steak on the grill. Start stuff for mashed potatoes and corn.

6Pm- burn first side of the steak, Ellorie still playing in the jumper, Austin still dinking around on homework, mom losing patience, Savannah decided to do sight words, Hunter screaming cause he's hungry, Ellorie needs dry diaper. Get steak off grill, Hallulijah! Ben's home. Change laundry again, get steak off grill, Savannahs friend leaves, steak is tough and gross. I think it got freezer burnt and grill burnt, not a good mixture, now what for dinner?

7pm-Ellorie is tired of the jumper, Ben makes hot dogs, Hunter still screaming over something, but I've almost perfected tuning it out. Feed Ellorie, finish homework, read for 20 minutes with Savannah, remake her sight words flash card cause she can't find the ones I made on Monday, go over spelling words with both kids.

8pm- put Hunter to bed, still doing laundry, look in the mirror and WOW! The reflection is shocking even to me. Ellorie has pulled large chunks out of my ponytail, it looks like it hasn't been brushed in days, I have no makeup on, still in my exercise clothes from our very brisk walk this morning, wearing the remnants of yesterdays mascara and it all makes sense to me now. During the 7pm hour, Ben came into the laundry room while I was switching loads and said, "take a breather." I thought he was being sweet but now I understand, I look like a crazy person! Poor guy! Coming home to me tonight must have been sobering for him. Now I guess I'll go hit the shower, put on my sexiest flannel jammies, climb into bed and do it all again tomorrow.

ouch!

2011-11-14T19:27:00.002-05:00

I will add a pic once Hunter lets me take one.

Hunter had a little accident at the gym today. He was in the kids room and was climbing up to sit on a bench and somehow missed, slipped or fell and hit his mouth. It ended up knocking his right top front tooth all the way back up into his gums. His other front tooth is fine. Weird.

We got him into the dentist (Thank you Trevor Knowles!!), got an xray and he said one of two things would happen. Either his tooth would work its way back down after the swelling subsides and over the next 2-3 months or it won't and the dentist will have to pull it back down so it doesn't mess with his permanent tooth.

There was alot of blood, but surprisingly I didn't lose it. I remained calm and collected. I must be maturing...finally. He is such a tough kid. He cried, but not hysterically and within 20 minutes was able to stop crying and just tell me it "urts".

He will continue to need Tylenol for a day or two, but he's such a stud. My other, older, kids would be total boobs about this for weeks. Savannah is boobin' about a loose tooth that is coming out naturally, and has been boobin' about this for a week now. Wimps!

Vanity?

2011-11-09T16:04:00.003-05:00

Something has been on my mind lately...weight.

I just read that on of the Victoria's Secret models who just had a baby in the past 6 months said she goes on a liquid only diet with twice a day workouts 9 days before the big fashion show and quits drinking 12 hours before to help get rid of all the water weight.

Seriously??? Who does that? What a horrible thing to do?

I was talking to my sister about weight a while back and I told her that I just don't have it in my to be skinny right now. You have to really spend alot of time thinking about yourself to stay skinny. You have to be focused on what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, and then you have to go to the gym 5-6 days a week and after an hour long workout you still have to shower. Who has that kind of time to devote to themselves?

I'm the first to say that maybe its a timing thing. I had the time to devote to losing weight after we moved to LV. Savannah was 18 months old, Austin was in preschool. We had an exercise room right in our complex. I could take that much time and effort out of my day and really focus on me. But right now isn't the time to focus on me. I have 2 small children who demand 100% of my time, energy and attention. I have 2 older children who need my attention and time too and I have a husband who deserves some of my time and attention.

I do make time for myself, but only when I know I'm not taking it from anyone else. Those days when both the little's are awake and happy and fed and I have an hour or two when they can just play, I take them to the gym. They like it, and I get my workout in. Its not everyday, maybe 3 times a week.

I am sure in a couple years, I will be able to shift more of my time to focus on me again. I have to learn to simply accept that I'm doing all I can right now. I am exercising. I am cooking at home and eating healthy. If I were to do all the things necessary to lose this weight, I know I would have to sacrifice other things and right now I can't. Those other things mean more to me.

Is it vanity that makes women feel like they have to lose all the baby weight right away and do crazy things to reach a goal? I want to be skinnier, I will be skinnier, but not today. I've got more important things to do.

she's a genius

2011-11-08T16:24:00.003-05:00

Ellorie has decided that drinking from a sippy cup is way better than a bottle. I let her have some water just for kicks and she totally took to it and when I tried to take it away, she cried til I gave it back.

a letter from Savannah

2011-11-07T16:01:00.001-05:00

My little girl is getting so big. She was being super crabby and uncooperative while we were going over her spelling and this is what she did while she was in her room cooling off.

November is...

2011-11-04T09:01:00.000-04:00

best of friends

2011-11-02T11:46:00.001-04:00

I am sure I have a similiar picture of Austin and Savannah somewhere.

look what I can do all by myself

2011-11-02T11:45:00.002-04:00

in my defense...

2011-11-01T09:26:00.005-04:00

When we looked at costumes online, Savannah saw this genie costume and said that's the one. I DID NOT take into account her torso was about a mile longer than the "model" childs and by the time it arrived, she was so over the moon about it, I decided I would use it as a learning experience for me and I vowed I'd be more careful in the future.

Austin's however was a special ops ninja and he was thrilled.

Hunter wouldn't wear a costume, so I bought him Thomas the Train jammies and Ellorie stayed at home with dad and passed out candy in her onesie. Poor 4th child, so neglected.

I did keep reminding her all night to pull up the pants to try and cut down on the amount of skin being shown.

Happy Ween

2011-10-30T23:46:00.001-04:00

Instead of Happy Halloween, Hunter just says, "Happy Ween" to everyone he sees.

Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-30T23:25:00.003-04:00

This may be the most patient and well behaved picture of Hunter ever! We were sitting on the hay ride and he was right behind the tractor and he was in heaven. It was the highlight of his short life.

We had a great time. There were lots of fun things to do and the kids were great.

6 months old

2011-10-27T14:50:00.002-04:00

Who???? ME????

Yep, you.
15 pounds, 9 ounces and 27 inches long.
You continue to be a source of limitless joy to your family. You especially love Austin and Hunter cause they let you pull their hair.

an honest look back

2011-10-27T09:20:00.002-04:00

I have been reflecting alot on the past year of my life. Having come out of my depression finally, looking back makes me so proud of myself. (This post is going to be very honest, hope you can deal.)

Finding out we were expecting Ellorie was really the catalyst of my depression. NOT because I didn't want another baby because we DID want 4 kids, but because of the timing. I knew Ben was unhappy with his job in Evansville and I knew we would be moving. That alone was difficult to accept as I had allowed myself to let Evansville feel like home, to put down roots for the first time in years and then having that comfort taken from me left me feeling a little disillusioned with the future. But alas, we were expecting and life goes on.

Then November 1 rolled along and Ben said he was offered a chance to go to Muskogee, OK to help a plant there finish up their year. That meant he would be leaving mid November and be there til Christmas. I was devastated. Now I was pregnant, with a barely 1 year old and 2 other kids and my husband and help mate was leaving me to do it all alone. I have always tried to be understanding of Ben's career aspirations and knew what this opportunity meant to him, so of course I said, GO. And he did.

He was only gone for a little over a week and then came back for Thanksgiving. My sister and her family, my mom and both brothers came for Thanksgiving. I was struggling to keep my head above water at this time. I was tired, lonely, and overwhelmed at the prospect of having to be alone for the next month. But I put on a happy face and welcomed the people who I knew loved me no matter what, FAMILY.

We had gotten tickets to the circus for everyone while they were in Indiana. I got some and then Ben got the others. I didn't put them in the same place however and when it came time to get ready and go, I couldn't find half of them. I didn't want Ben to know I couldn't find the others cause I remember feeling his stress over having a house full of people, 8 kids and NOT being in control of the remote and I kind of knew he would over react a little.

Well he found out I couldn't find the tickets and out of frustration he said something to the effect of "Why wouldn't you just put them all in the same place?" A simple question voiced not out of anger. That simple, honest statement sent me into a tailspin. Not because I couldn't find the tickets, but because I was embarrassed at being careless, I was tired, pregnant, stressed and having to fake a smile was just too much. ( Micah eventually found them under a magnet on the white board, a place I remember putting them after the fact.)

But it didn't matter. The worst had already happened. I had a brief thought that I was going to kill myself. I know what you're thinking, over circus tickets??? But in my depression, it was the culmination of me not being good enough and thinking my family would be better off if I just left. Everyone went to the circus except me, Mom and Hunter. Hunter went to bed and I stood in the shower rationalizing that suicide was an okay option. After all, Jesus didn't HAVE to die on the cross, he GAVE up the ghost. Wasn't that the same? (Again, I don't really think that way, but the depression had changed my brain and me into someone else completely.) I couldn't stop crying. Not because of the circus tickets, not because I was embarrassed, but because I knew what had just happened. I knew my depression wasn't normal depression anymore. It was full blown, out of control, and I needed to acknowledge it, and get help.

The next day I apologized to everyone for my behavior. I tried to pretend that I was fine, but everyone knew I wasn't. They didn't however, know the depth and breadth of it. They left, Ben left and I was left to face my demons alone, or so I thought.

I opened up to a friend of mine and it was the BEST thing I could have done. I trusted her to not judge me and she didn't. I then talked to a couple other friends who had battled depression in their lives and I found strength. I went to my doctor, I told him the truth and he found the right meds for me.

I survived December with the help and support of the amazing friends I had made in Indiana. The incredibly selfless women, who were all going through struggles of their own, but who together bouied me up and kept me afloat. Without them, I'm sure this story would have had a much different ending.

I loaded my three kids up in the car, loaded all our presents and drove to Oklahoma to meet Ben and check out what we both knew would be our next home. Luckily I knew right away Muskogee wasn't for me. I was afraid to tell Ben I hated it, but then he suggested we look a little north in Broken Arrow and southern Tulsa. As soon as I saw the Bass Pro Shop, I knew we would be fine. I'm not sure why that was such a sign of hope for me, but it was. I guess if it was a big enough town for a Bass Pro, it was an okay place for me.

We went back to Indiana the first of the year and within 10 days Ben had applied and accepted the position in Muskogee and he would be leaving me again at the end of the month. Alone again. Except now I had the stress of selling a house while being 6 months pregnant. We were blessed to have sold the house in 17 days. It was nothing short of a miracle considering it was January and no one buys houses in January.

The Lord was definitely holding me in the palms of his hands during the past year. I have felt his love, direction and faith in me many times. I know He knows of my struggles, He has suffered for my pain and He has made known the way to find forgiveness and hope. Without that knowledge, without my faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I would never have come out of this alive.

We put offers in on two other houses before this one, and this one is without a doubt, where the Lord wanted our family to live. That was evident within days. I have the greatest neighbors. He provided me yet again with people who saw in me something the depression had blinded me to.

The Nothing, as I like to call it had stripped me of everything I ever valued and loved. But the Lord gave it all back to me. Over Labor Day, I decided I was done nursing and Ellorie was all too happy to oblige. We pumped for a while and then it was over. The transition was effortless and that helped to confirm to me that I was being led back to the road of happiness. That decision was the catalyst of my recovery. It was like a light switch I guess. It was so sudden. Like drowning for so long and fighting to live and then finding yourself laying on the sand of a beach and being able to relax and stop fighting and take deep breaths and realize you're going to live. I know it sounds dramatic, and it was.

I feel better than I have in years. I have found all the things the Nothing had robbed me of. I'm a better mom than I ever thought I could be, I'm a better wife, I'm a better friend and I'm a better person. I will be okay. No, better than ok.

My name is Tessie Conkey and I have overcome depression. I survived an illness that has claimed the lives of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands. I have a unique perception because most people don't sink as deep as I did and live to tell about it. I owe all the credit to my beliefs because when I couldn't rely on myself to hold it together, I could lean on my understanding and faith in God to get me through.

Some people battle cancer, some people battle addiction, some people battle financial distress, I battle depression. Battled. I won.

bus update

2011-10-24T09:27:00.002-04:00

The kids had fall break on Thursday and Friday so I've had a long weekend to think about the situation.

Both of them have asked not to get pulled off the bus. They like riding it and they feel like it would be a punishment for them when they didn't do anything wrong. I agreed. So I sent them on it this morning.

The transportation discipline guy called first thing and said he would follow protocol and get back to me with a report and what I can expect. I guess all I can do is pray to continue to know what to do. I'm sure this isn't going to be the end of it, unfortunately, but hopefully I will continue to know what is best for them and know how to protect them.

and so it begins...the REALLY hard stuff

2011-10-19T18:07:00.002-04:00

Austin came home from school today upset and crying cause some kids on the bus were calling him names and took his gloves and were throwing them around and wouldn't give them back.

This seems like normal kid crap, but I know today its called bullying and it starts with little crap and them builds.

I think I have to pull them from the bus. Eliminate the issue. But what does that teach him? Do I leave him on it and call the school? Do I do both? What is a parent to do in this situation?

my two helpers

2011-10-19T15:34:00.002-04:00

While mom was trying to get dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up, you stood in your bouncer saucer thingy and played.

Meanwhile, Hurricane here, was being all too helpful, aka, not helpful at all.

got a lil something on your face

2011-10-19T15:31:00.001-04:00

...its food. Cause you're 6 months old now and get to eat! And you love it!

girls are like apples...

2011-10-12T18:13:00.001-04:00

Bedroom makeover

2011-10-10T22:12:00.004-04:00

Of course I forgot to take before pics, but these pics are courtesy of the birthday girl. She took them herself.

Ben made the shelving unit over the desk. He did an amazing job and Savannah said they were her favorite part. She was so surprized and she LOVED it! Thanks Nana for all your help.

Rollerblades

2011-10-10T22:10:00.002-04:00

Savannah got rollerblades for her birthday and she HAD to try them out. Like everything she does, she's determined to master it.

Thank you Grandma!

2011-10-10T22:09:00.001-04:00

Savannah loves being a mommy and feeding and changing her own baby. She loves it!

Himliched Hunter

2011-10-06T14:23:00.001-04:00

Hunter was sitting at the table coloring with our neighbors, AJ and Brookie.

I was cleaning up the living room and AJ said something so I walked over the table and noticed that Hunter had the look of fear on his face. He was coloring and decided to bite off part of the crayon and it got lodged in his throat and was choking.

I wacked him on the back one good time and out it came. Thank you AJ, I owe you a cookie.

Pork schnitzel with apple onion chutney

2011-10-01T19:29:00.002-04:00

...and the famiy loved it!

Of course the kids didn't eat it as sandwiches, but they did eat it and said it was good. Ben even agreed it was TASTY!!!

I am always leary of trying new recipes because they never turn out as yummy as I thought. This is one I have been looking at for weeks. I saw it on the Rachael Ray show and it looked so good, I figured I would give it a try. YUMM-OOO!

Click on the title of this post for the recipe

Race for the cure 2011

2011-10-01T17:09:00.002-04:00

Savannah and I did the race for the cure this year. I felt it was important to tell her about her Grandma Caroline's mom who died of breast cancer when Grandma was only 5. Savannah walked with a paper on her back that said in honor of her Great Grandma Barnick. She made it the whole 3.2 miles with no complaining and then we even sprinted to the end. It was fun to spend some time with just her and talk and walk. She's a great girl, I'm pretty fond of her.

Elephant stew

2011-10-01T17:07:00.003-04:00

We all have those tried and true cookbooks that people have given us. Well, today I was looking through one and I came across this recipe and laughed so hard water shot out of my nose. I wasn't expecting it and boy did it catch me by surprize.

You just broke your child

2011-09-30T23:40:00.004-04:00

click on the title and read one father's thoughts on parenting.

Perspective

2011-09-29T13:44:00.001-04:00

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.

It was addressed, "Mom."

With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with him and he is so nice, even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes.

But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and he said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. He taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith...

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!!

(I should have done this with a few of my report cards in school. Maybe then I wouldn't have spent so much time grounded. I love you Mom!)

Forget me nots

2011-09-28T10:22:00.004-04:00

Loved Pres. Uchtdorf's talk. Had to see it online as Ellorie wasn't cooperating at the broadcast.

Fall Fashions

2011-09-27T17:00:00.003-04:00

I am 10 different kinds of crazy about this season's must have. A Poncho!!! LOVE it!

Cafe Rio Pork Salad

2011-09-25T22:41:00.002-04:00

Café Rio pork
6 lbs. pork
1 16 oz. bottle of salsa
1 can coke
2 c. brown sugar
Place pork in crock pot and fill it 1⁄2 way up the pork with water. Cook on High for 5 hours. Drain off water. Cut pork in thirds. Mix together sauce and put on top of pork. Cook an additional 3 hours on high. Shred pork with forks. Leave it on low until ready to serve.

Café Rio Dressing (the best ever)
1 buttermilk ranch dressing packet
I cup buttermilk
I cup mayo
2 tomatillos (tomato like vegetable with a husk around them)
1⁄2 bunch of cilantro
1/2-1 clove garlic
Juice of 1 lime
1/2 -1 small jalapeño, seeds removed
Use a food processor or blender to blend all the ingredients well. Refrigerate.

Cafe Rio rice
In sauce pan sauté:
2 TB butter
1 yellow onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic
In large pot bring to a boil:
6 2/3 cups water
8 tsp. Chicken bullion
1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped
2 tsp. Cumin
2 small can diced green chilies
1 TB lime juice
1/2 tsp salt
Add onion and garlic to boiling water. Add 3 cups long grain rice. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes.

Black Beans
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/3 cup tomato juice
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp ground cumin
2 tbs olive oil
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 tbs fresh chopped cilantro
In a nonstick skillet, cook garlic and cumin in olive oil over medium heat until you can smell it. Add beans, tomato juice, and salt. Continually stir until heated through. Just before serving stir in the cilantro.

Pico de Gallo
Chop & mix:
4 tomatoes
1/4 purple onion
1/4 bunch cilantro
2 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp. Lime
1 tsp. Salt

Guacamole
2 ripe avocados gently mashed
1 minced garlic clove
1 tsp course salt
1-2 chopped tomatoes
1/4 chopped red onion
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
2 TB lime juice
Lettuce
Red & Green leaf lettuce, shredded
Crispy Strips
I use a pizza cutter to cut tortillas into strips and then fry them.

Salad Order
Warm tortilla
Shredded colby & monterey jack cheese
Pork
Rice
Beans
Lettuce
Pico de Gallo
Guacamole
Cilantro
Parmesan Cheese
Crispy chips
Dressing
You can also serve with a wedge if lime.

my next vehicle

2011-09-24T14:57:00.001-04:00

Think I can talk Ben into it?

Its a commercial Nissan Van, but I think I could get them to throw in a few side windows and seats and it would be perfect.

feels like Home

2011-09-21T14:34:00.002-04:00

Ever since I moved to Vegas, I have had this mindset that a new town isn't really home until I run into someone I know while I'm out and about. It took about 4 months in Vegas, it took less time in Indiana because it was a small town.

It finally happened today. I ran into a girl from church at the gym. She came over and said hi while I was on a machine, singing along to the IPOD. I wouldn't have seen her on my own, I was in my own little world. But nowI can say it, Tulsa is home. Thanks Michelle Anderson, you have no idea how happy that made me.

SSSHHHHh.....its a surprise

2011-09-20T15:09:00.002-04:00

I'm sticking with the surprise theme from last year for Savannah's birthday.

This year I am giving her a surprise bedroom makeover. I got her new bedding, a full length mirror, and Ben is making some custom shelving for above her desk. I am going to repaint the drawers on her desk and paint 2 walls a dark purple shade from her bedding. I am also going to hang some metallic flowers on one wall and give her some cute baskets to stay organized.

I will post before and after pics. Her b-day is Oct. 8 and I can't wait!

boys and dirt

2011-09-15T10:02:00.002-04:00

Ellorie 5months old

2011-09-14T10:44:00.003-04:00

Ellorie is 5 months old today and getting funner and cuter by the second. She loves to play with her toes, she loves to chew on her hands, she loves to be held and snuggle with Mom, she loves to get kisses from her brothers and sisters, she has the quietest baby voice I have ever heard. She just whispers when she talks and babbles. She is a doll and we love her!

Savannahism's

2011-09-13T23:13:00.002-04:00

"Mom, why do your boobs drag like that?"

SERIOUSLY!!!??? I had to correct her, "They dont' drag! They sag. I've had 4 kids, what do you expect?" Makes me feel like one of those Amazonian woman who don't wear bra's and have to move their boobs so they can pee. Seriously???

Kids say the darnest things!

just chillin

2011-09-12T21:53:00.001-04:00

It was a hot 96 today and the kids came up with a creative way to cool off. Ice Jumping!

Men at work

2011-09-12T21:50:00.002-04:00

We opted to keep the pool but get rid of the deck. It took up alot of yard space and we didn't use it. Plus by getting rid of it, we made room for the tramp.

spot the similarities

2011-09-12T21:46:00.001-04:00

I can spot 6 things that are the same or similar about these two babies. How many can you spot?

Check the comments for my answers!

A new day has dawned...

2011-09-10T23:33:00.003-04:00

...and I feel better than ever.

I guess it is true, you have to experience the darkness to really appreiciate the light.

I am bathing in the light right now. I am not just taking baby steps to get back to me, but I am running towards what will be the best part of my life. I feel so light. I feel so hopeful. I feel so....happy. Honestly, truly, deeply happy.

I don't know how else to describe it. It feels like I was dying and now I have been given a second chance. It's incredible.

I did it, I won the war. I defeated the Nothing. It has no more power over me. I have lifted above it and am out of its reach. Elated. Joyful. Hopful. Strong. Happy, finally happy.

rollerskating-Savannahism

2011-09-08T20:53:00.002-04:00

Savannah went rollerskating with some friends down the street. Their kids attend a catholic school and the school was hosting the skating party. This was her first time skating and did really good and liked it alot.

She came running up to me when she got home and said so proudly, "Mom, did you know all catholics are good rollerskaters?"

NOPE didn't know that.

I just call you mine!

2011-09-08T16:31:00.003-04:00

I dedicate this song to my kids. I'm sure all you mom's feel the same way!

(just click the title of this post to see the video and hear the song! Enjoy!)

Zumba update

2011-09-07T13:10:00.002-04:00

I felt like I belonged in a Richard Simmons exercise video. Please tell me those are some sort of circus mirrors. Please tell me I'm not that big. But, I know I am and there's no better day to work on it than today.

I had fun and will continue to go on Wed ad Fri and maybe on Saturday.

Labor Day getaway

2011-09-06T22:44:00.003-04:00

We decided to head down to Dallas and visit the Engars. It was super fun hanging out with them. We did lots of totally fun stuff, LegoLand Discovery Center not included. We ate at a yummy mexican restaurant, Adrianne and I saw Crazy Stupid Love (which was crazy awesome), then she took me to IKEA. I'm in love. Ben and Ty went to a movie, the kids played so good. They took us to Five Guys Burgers and we got ice cream and walked around the harbor and looked at the boats.

It was so fun to see our good friends and can't wait to go back in December for the ballet.

I've got butterflies

2011-09-02T10:52:00.002-04:00

I don't like to do things that I don't know I'm already good at.

I don't like to do new things, cause what if I look silly.

I don't search out new experiences because I like doing what I've always done.

But today I am stepping out of my comfort zone and attending my first Zumba class at the gym. I know I am about 4 years late and the Zumba train has already left the station, but I want on!

I tried tennis for the first time in Vegas and loved it. I tried 5am workouts in Indiana and hated it, and so Zumba is going to be my Oklahoma first.

I told the kids last week that the first day of school is only scary cause of the unknown. No one is scared of the second day of school. Now is the time to follow my own advice. Zumba will only be scary the first time. And who knows, I may love it!

Savannah's sassy boots

2011-09-01T17:24:00.001-04:00

Savannah needed some sassy boots to wear this fall/winter and of all the boots we saw online, these are the ones she picked. On clearance, at Target, only available online. Love it!

Ellorie's sleep habits

2011-08-30T15:32:00.003-04:00

Ellorie is very, VERY particular about how and when she would like to be put to sleep.

If you're paying attention (and you have to be in order to catch it) she will give a quick eye rub to let you know she's tired. If you happen to miss the first one, she'll do it again, so pay attention.

If you put her down after the eye rub, she will take her paci and blankie and drift off to sleep without a sound or fuss. But WWWWOOOOOWWWW, if you miss her signs, you'll pay for it. Even just by 10 minutes, she will be so overtired that she can't put herself to sleep. She will cry, fuss, scream, meltdown to a sweet smelling pool of baby tears, and make you regret every second you weren't watching for her signs.

Today, I missed her signs because I was vacuuming the downstairs. She was having NOTHING to do with my attempts to soothe her, being held, nursed, or comforted. Nope. She was mad. So I laid her in my bed all snuggled up with her paci and blankie and I laid next to her. She was mumbling under her breath with the paci in her mouth and her eyes closed, but if you could hear her she was saying, "I tried to warn you. I tried to be patient, you brought this on yourself. Are you paying attention to me? I'm talking to you."

She would open her eyes just a crack to make sure I was still next to her and starring at her. She would make quick eye contact and then close them again, all the while, mumbling her sweet scolding.
She finally gave in. Her mumblings softened and she caved into the exhaustion that comes from being awake for a couple hours.

Sorry baby, I learned my lesson. NO MORE VACUUMING!

Hurricane Hunter strikes Tulsa

2011-08-29T10:19:00.003-04:00

Hunter has been super busy earning his nickname, the Hurricane, this weekend.

First, he got ahold of the Pam spray bottle and decided to spray down my entire kitchen table while I was nursing Ellorie in another room.

Second, he snuck into our bathroom and proceeded to wash Ben's mirror and sink down with hand fulls of lotion.

Third, he got ahold of the Pam again (I put it in the cupboard, but he pulled up a chair, climbed on the counter and got it back out). This time he sprayed down the counter top, the side of the fridge and my new kitchen knife set.

I'm declaring the house a state of emergency.

The journey through life...

2011-08-25T09:52:00.000-04:00

..is better when enjoyed with good friends.

HAPPY SCHOOL YEAR!

2011-08-25T09:33:00.001-04:00

CHECK!

2011-08-24T15:41:00.003-04:00

Nails painted?

CHECK!

Backpacks?

CHECK!

Lunch boxes?

CHECK!

New shoes?

CHECK!!

Feathers in her hair?

CHECK!!!

Looks like we are all ready for the first day of school!!!!

Ellorie's 4 month stats

2011-08-24T14:38:00.003-04:00

Still our tiniest!

Today at the endocrinologist she was 13pds, 1 ounce and 24 inches long. She is in the 25% for both height and weight. Her blood tests are still coming back "slightly abnormal", so we will continue to monitor it.

She is barely out of her 0-3 month clothes, but I've been putting her in 3-6 month stuff only because I am tired of dressing her in the same 8 outfits all the time. But when its this hot, no clothes work fine.

Meet the Teacher night

2011-08-23T18:25:00.003-04:00

We met the teachers today. The schools are really huge here. In one building is Prek to 2nd grade. The next building is 3-5. We went to Austin's class first. His teacher seemed super nice and very "on top of it". I like that.

Savannah's teacher seemed super sweet and nice, which is perfect for 1st grade.

As we were leaving Savannah's school I hear a woman screaming at the top of her lungs, "HELP, he's trying to take my daughter!" The principal comes running, the cops are called. Must of been a custody thing cause the office staff knew the girls name. Still, made me REALLY miss Newburgh Elementary.

I know that kind of stuff can happen anywhere, but with big huge schools, its harder to feel secure. I loved NES. I miss NES.

boots

2011-08-22T00:53:00.003-04:00

I have been looking for dark brown, not to tall, comfy, not a high heel, boots that I can tuck my jeans in or wear bootcut jeans with and I finally found them. Lets call them a late, but great birthday present. Now, I guess I need it to stop being 100 degrees or more so I can actually wear them.

I'm so excited! And so in love!